Well, I haven’t kept up my blog for a long time but now seems like the perfect time to resurrect it. If you get really bored you can search my back catalogue!!
We are living in very strange times and they have escalated at a rate that makes me feel dizzy.
At the beginning it felt quite surreal but over the next few weeks I am sure it will begin to feel all too real as we watch the daily news, the figures rising and perhaps people we know, love and care for fall victim to this virus.
At the start I was quite ashamed to be part of the human race with the scenes of supermarket madness. I was disgusted at the greed and selfishness displayed and it made me quite low.
Now you all know that I am a Pollyanna at heart and those that now me best know that I am either, to quote Robbie Williams, “ a little too high or a little too low. “ and when I fall in to the pit of despair I fall hard.
You also know that I will drag my ass back up again but I was in a bit of a tizzy to say the least. A real low funk! My mental health was not good, my anxiety was through the roof.
I have always had a full diary of things to look forward to and this year being my 50th I had more plans than ever, tickets booked for lots of things, a bucket list I was looking forward to. Suddenly, an empty calendar stretching before me as events were cancelled one by one. Everything felt uncertain and bleak.
Then I got thinking, my brain never stops whirring. It drives me mad which is one of the reasons I started my blog in the first place, it helps me to put my thoughts down in writing. I’ll apologise for my spelling in advance 😂
People were behaving in this awful way because they were scared, scared for themselves and for the people they love and I guess it is hard wired in all of our DNA to protect ourselves and the people we love and this is what was driving this insanity. Survival of the fittest and all that.
Slowly we have all calmed down a bit and while we are all still scared we can see a bigger picture emerging.
While we all adjust to this new pace of staying at home it is us Pollyanna’s who will try to keep everyone united, busy and smiling. So many heartwarming stories of human kindness and sacrifice are appearing everywhere you look.
I have been criticised over the years for my love of Facebook and social media but it has always been a lifeline to me. When I was living through domestic abuse, through my divorce and after it when I was lonely it had an important role to play in keeping me busy and connected. I joined groups, made friends, fell in love. I try as I always have, to use my social media to bring joy and happiness. Spread that shit around, we all need it now more than ever.
And now, everywhere you look people are doing the same, live comedy, online quizzes, live meditation (which I love) keep fit, videos of actors reading sonnets, my photography groups, friends posting videos of them singing..... the list goes on and on. Technology is the thing that is empowering us at the moment, a tool for good if we use it correctly. Being in isolation should not leave us feeling isolated.
Add to that the stories of everyone coming out to clap for the NHS which was quite emosh and people offering to help get food for others less able. People coming together and uniting and coordinating effort. Stories of people putting their lives at risk to save others, people keeping the country going with a smile on their faces, doctors, food suppliers, care workers, teaching staff, postal workers, delivery drivers. There will still be stories unfortunately of people taking advantage of the situation, scammers etc but on the whole It is a tsunami of positivity during this alarming test of our endurance.
It has been lovely to reconnect with friends, check up on family. I’ve had more conversations with my neighbours this week than before ( at a distance) I’ve set up what’s app groups with different groups of friends and family, FaceTime sessions, etc. I am trying to post quizzes and puzzles to keep our minds active and get people involved in things more than ever.
Some may find it annoying but most, I hope appreciate it. I am focused more than ever on the people in my life that I love and that bring me joy. I am so very fortunate that in Ian I have a partner who makes me laugh every day, who puts up with my moody shit, my crying and understands me better than anyone ever has. I am blessed that those I love are, for now, safe and well.
I’m still scared.
I still have to go to work albeit on a smaller scale. I’d much rather cocoon myself safe at home but the job I do is more important than ever at this particular, peculiar time.
Luke has been redeployed to Waitrose as John Lewis have shut their doors and I worry about him being in contact with the public and bringing something home but again, it’s an important and necessary service atm.
We are all worried about the future financial implications as jobs are on hold or lost and holidays and such are held in the balance.
But we are all in this together and globally not just in our own neighbourhoods and it’s so heartwarming to see everyone unite, despite our growing fears, with us all doing our best to look after each other, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Never mind Herd Immunity, it’s all about Herd Community!! I for one am seeing all the positives.
As we adjust to this new pace of life, new priorities it would be lovely to think that we will continue these things on into our future. Unfortunately I fear that as we all get back to normal in a few months time we will go back to being the selfish twats we were before. Pollution will once again rise, we will forget to call our family and to reconnect with friends as the pace of our lives returns to its frantic pace. We will stop looking after our mental health and each other. But I hope not. We have an amazing opportunity to rediscover what and who is really important in our lives and to carry it forward.
Stay safe my friends. Peace and love. Xx
