Happy New Year 2024

I'm not one for making great declarations of new year resolutions, yes, I need to continue and build on the good practice I've begun this year, to drink less, walk / dance more, set solid priorities for health, boundaries and growth. 

But I always find the eve of a new year makes me pause to reflect on the past year.

Like every year 2023 has been a year with some challenges, especially at work and with my health but a lot of fun highlights too.

Every year is a mixed bag of good and bad, and packaged inside any mistakes I've made is a lesson, and whilst I don't want to take those mistakes into the new year with me, I will most certainly take the lessons. That's personal growth. 

 

There are people and situations I will not be bringing into the new year with me for the good of my own mental health. I've no room in my life anymore for disrespect and these last few years have been a huge lesson in disrespect.  

My boundaries, my time, my energy and my peace are all increasingly important to me. I spent a lot of years in the past where I'd lost the value of these things. I allowed myself to be treated with far, far less than I deserved by many people in my life, and to live with levels of toxicity that have been far reaching in it's damage. By putting everybody's needs before my own, I lost myself.  

Now I know my worth again and I've re discovered those values. With Ian's love and support I have realised that my needs are important too and if I don't value them, then no one else will either. I've done a lot of hard work on myself these last few years.

I will let go of anyone that can't respect or appreciate those values.

I will meet people with the same energy they give me. 

I don't mean this in an unkind way, just with a growing understanding of those that appreciate and value my efforts. I'm tired of banging my head on brick walls, I'm tired of sending messages that go ignored and caring too much and questioning myself thinking I've done something wrong or I've not given enough when it's usually the opposite. 

I will meet people where they are. I won't make excuses for peoples flaky behaviour anymore. You all have the same 24hrs a day as I do, so you make your choices and I will listen. As I turn 54yrs in a few weeks, I really am getting too old for this shit!

And I'm also on a journey to understand my neurodiversity, which means I give out a lot more energy than most! ...... but thats OK. You'll all have to raise your game, I'm not lowering mine 😜

I'd like to thank all my good friends and family who bumble along life's ever winding road with me. Who through the past year have given me joy, shared their wisdom. and humour, their time, energy and positivity, those who notice and act on it. 

Kindness, honesty and loyalty are the holy trinity to me and I like to think that is what I give out into the world. Therefore, anyone who has made me doubt theirs in the past, well, that's where those lessons lie and I'll take them into 2024 with me. 

I will keep on believing in my ability to manifest my own happiness and will continue my endeavour to keep my thoughts, words and deeds positive and to continue to practice daily gratitude and humility. 

So I'm wishing you all another happy year around the sun. There will undoubtedly be more challenges thrown our way but I'll keep meeting mine head on with the support of all the people in my life that love me and I hope you know that I love you right back and I will be there to support you through your tough times and to share your laughter too.

365days (366 days actually as it’s a leap year!)  for us to fill with sunshine, to keep learning, keep smiling, keep loving ❤️ 

" your present circumstances don't determine where you can go. They merely determine where you start." - Nedo Quebein

Welcoming 2023

Goodbye 2022, you’ve been relentless in the lessons you’ve sent me. 

I have been well and truly tested. 

My faith, my health, both mental and physical and my finances.

 I’ve been tested by my family and friendships, by my trusting nature and my kind heart which are  often taken advantage of. 

2022 will be remembered as the year I chose what is best for me and even though the road was hard I stuck to it and I learned many lessons.

I am learning to say no.

I am learning to speak my truth.

I am learning to stand up for myself.

I am learning my value and who I am valued by.

I’m a work in progress and that’s ok.

I’ve lost a lot but I’ve also gained.

I failed, I cried, I laughed, I loved and I learned. 

I learned money will never be a bartering price for my love as I value love over money.

I learned I did not break though I feared I would.

And I am reminded that I am still stronger than I know. 

I hold blessings for everyone in my life, especially those who have been constant to me in their trust and love, their honesty, kindness, respect, support, guidance and un-ending friendship. 

But also more importantly for those that have chosen to believe the very worst of me and the misrepresentation of facts presented to them without allowing me the dignity of explanation. For those who have disrespected me, ostracised me or tried to control me. 

I’ve drawn a line under it now and I am at peace, because I know I have always been true, had the best of intentions and came from a good place with all of my heart. 

My peace is mine and I guard it with my life.

So roll on 2023. 

I’m walking into 2023 with a clear heart and mind and with forgiveness , most importantly forgiveness for myself.

This is a new chapter.

I wish all my friends and family healing, health, and hope for a 2023 filled with joy and happiness.