Things happening in my life at the moment have put me in a reflective mood.
One of my Mums was in floods this morning at the door (I'm afraid I had a tear or 2 as well) as she had woken to the news that her friend had died of cancer this morning just 3 weeks after diagnosis aged just 40 the same as I was diagnosed.
I have lost too many friends in the last few years to this disease that I am fighting and so far winning against.....it is war, which made me feel sad and scared and alive in equal measure.
Whilst I take time to remember the friends that are no longer with me I also choose to honour them the only way I know how.
By living. Really living.
I choose not to waste a minute of this time I have above ground.
There is a saying that it's the things that we don't do in life that we regret not the things we do, because even when we fail, or things go badly we learn from them and frankly it's plain daft to let the past dictate your future. This is not a dress rehearsal.
So what started off as a bucket list for my 40th has sort of turned into a life choice. To live with passion.
I will continue to laugh (and cry) to not deny my emotions but to write my feelings down honestly which helps me make better sense of them as I can get a bit overwhelmed.
I want to see and create beauty, to inspire and be inspired, to make time to breathe and grow and dance and fall in love.
To be a yes man. To grab opportunities for adventure with both hands.
To learn new things, and allow myself to make mistakes, pick myself up and carry on.
I notice the small things because usually they are the big things.
I will tell my friends and family how much I love them and value their support and more importantly show them.
I will make time for my children and my God children and create wonderful memories with them.
I will continue to pay it forward and do random acts of kindness because it makes the world a better place to live in.
I will push myself to do things that scare me because to not do all these things would be a dis service to myself and those I've lost.
And if your lucky......I will take you on my journey with me!